It’s about to be a busy week, and I’m going to get in to all that, but first I want to do a little confiding. I miss blogging here, in this space. As I’ve transitioned my online presence to a more professional one, a website that reflects my advanced degree, I feel like I lost something. I’ve been writing in this space for years now and I’m sorry to have stopped. It’s only been since May, but I can feel the absence. I’m worried that this sounds arrogant or self indulgent. But then, fuck it. I’m not about all that. Not really.
Sharing our stories matters. Sharing who we are and what we experience in real time is precious. Part of what people respond to here is that I am parenting now, not thirty years ago. I’m also a woman set on a path of self discovery. So you get to see it as soon as I set to write it. And I miss putting myself out there. It’s scary and it feels foolish given the climate of hate directed at bloggers who aren’t white/male/straight- like I’m just asking to be harassed by sharing. But then, fuck that too. Internalized victim-blaming doesn’t sit well with me.
I’ve got a parenting workshop coming up this week. The first of three at the SFSU Downtown Campus. This week’s workshop introduces sex-positive parenting. And is built around this page here. Something I read recently does a fantastic job of explaining why sex-negative education is a crucial aspect to a rape positive culture: you can read it here. The workshop I’m giving will discuss this thoroughly and the attendees will have a chance to practice and they’ll also get a chance to tell their stories. Asking parents how they are doing is important, too. We all need little pressure relief valves in our lives. Hopefully my workshop will be a place to learn and to let out some steam.
Another thing this week, Bawdy Storytelling for LitQuake. Cuz y’know, I’m so literary. I am, though. I fall in love with words easily. The story I’m telling that night is the backstory to what started me on my path to writing about sex-positivity. Wanna hear the punchline? “I’m gonna need to write this shit down, because it’s better than anything I could make up.” Really. That’s what got me writing and sharing. I didn’t see anybody else offering up their parenting while dating experiences. When I became a single parent I had no idea how to have sex that wasn’t within the context of a long term relationship. Not a clue. I didn’t even know how to conceive of my sexuality if it wasn’t in relation to some other person. I knew that wasn’t ok. I knew that a grown woman needed to have a self-defined sexuality. But I also knew I needed to work my ass off to raise these two kids I had. So, I made a trade-off that lasted until I graduated with my BA degree and ended with one hell of a bang. The date-not-a-date that changed everything. Anyway, I’m telling too much of the story here, you’re gonna have to come to Bawdy Thursday night to hear the rest. The sexual adventure that launched a thousand blog posts. (see how literary I was just then, eh?)
I’ve been keeping my writing to myself too much. Saving it for chapters of books that are all on their way to being written. Maybe I’m missing the instant gratification of hitting the publish button, because the analogue version of publish takes a whole lot longer and is anything but gratifying? I’m really grateful to the people I’m working with. The partnerships I’m developing are amazing and awesome and everything I’ve ever wanted them to be. Spending time with people who have their shit together and who aren’t afraid of sticking their neck out is invaluable to me. Truth be told, it’s a whole new adventure for me, this entrepreneurship thing. The goal is to be balanced. To remember to sing while I keep all the plates spinning.
So I’m going to continue writing here. Keep posting my mini-personal essays. Just because it feels good.