He thought asking me if somebody could explain why the full moon got him wylin out like that was a rhetorical question.
Silly man, I thought, there is nothing rhetorical about the affect and effect of a moon like that. The yin moon, the she wolf moon, the first full moon of the year, the moon that is closest in proximity for the next 18 months.
If there was a moon to drive you wild, this was it. If there was a moon to see into your soul, touch your desires and grant you permission to indulge, this was it.
He said, I had to get myself in the house, before something happened, before I just went there with anybody, with everybody.
Now, why would you stop that? Why would you put a stopper in that energy? Men, I think, don’t get to have this experience monthly. It has to be a moon like this to get them going, to unfurl them to this degree, a phenomenal moon. While women, I believe, feel the phenomena with much more frequency. So maybe while it’s always intense, I’m not afraid. I welcome it. I look forward to it. I need to lose myself, to surrender, to engage.
I kept his gaze steady knowing that the hazel green cornea would glow silver with an ancient understanding of attraction. I asked him if I could describe maybe what he saw that night:
A woman in corset and stockings turns her back to her lover so that the full moon of her exposed lower body glows in the lamplight. A women 8 months into her pregnancy reclines against pillows as her partner massages the moon of her swollen belly with warm oil until she shines in the candlelight. A woman arches her back in the deep stretch of the asana, the twin moons of her upper body glistening with sweat in the softly lit studio. A woman walking alone down the street at night unafraid, secure in her right to be free of bodily harm, smiles in the strangers eyes, the moon of her face radiant.
Is that right?
I’ll tell you why you feel the moon’s pull on your most intimate thoughts and fears, why they rise to the surface of your being, despite your best efforts to contain them, why your mind can’t quite focus and all the faces blur for wanting of connection. I’ll tell you why it’s too intense, why you feel the tangible yin and if you have any sense it frightens you, thrills you, why you feel as though you can’t keep a secret, why you can’t have a desire without this moon encouraging it. She sees into you anyway. What is the point of concealing?
It’s called the wolf moon because they howl with the cold and hunger of winter. How cold and hungry are we without each other? How much do we crave the heat of connection, the spark of being seen as luminescent. When it happens again, be prepared, be aware, and just go with it.