I’ve had this blog over a year. I remember my last valentine’s post. A graphic with a poem. A promise made from my heart to the universe. An agreement to my lovers, both known and not: I will always vice your versa.  That’s the best I can do.

Sounds and scents get tangled up for me. I hear a song; I want a cup of coffee. The scent of my cigar stains my finger tips; a bass line presses through silence into my ear. My head can sway with the beat found in the short life of a rose tea candle’s flame. The melody of smoke rippling at the end of a jasmine incense stick. It’s all swirling, all the time.

I have a lover I think of in the past tense most of time. I have a lover that only exists in brief text exchanges. I have a lover I haven’t really been able to love yet. I have the warm soft flesh of a new lover waiting for me. There’s that ache of want and have, of need and abstain. They get tangled up for me. It’s all swirling, all the time.

People who chose to walk in straight lines confuse me. People who give it their all to keep an even pace amaze me. It comes natural or it doesn’t. I’m afraid, but I’ll show up anyway. I was brave and stayed home. I was a coward and appeared in the crowd to be one of many on a dark street. I fight hardest when calm, I’m ineffective when enraged. How many loop de loops before my heart gets used to the vertigo and the ground never feels the same? They get tangled up for me. It’s all swirling, all the time.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Take a deep inhale of the scents surrounding you, listen to the sounds in your head, see the words behind your eyes. Let it all get tangled up inside. It’s all swirling, all the time.