Cookin in the kitchen with Shilo

You know you know the song, just hum along.

Spent the day in Shilo’s kitchen, I baked and she made port wine jelly. We strategized and mission statemented and bounced ideas back and forth all while sipping coffee spiked with Bailey’s. If you’ve never had the experience of discussing the erotic documentation of under-represented sexuality with a woman in an apron testing the temperature of jam jars… I, uh, suggest it.

All the important conversations happen either in the bedroom or the kitchen. At least in my life, that’s been the case.

I’m changing the focus of my thesis.

Yes we’ve got big plans for the SPPP of the Bay Area, a few domain names have been purchased and networking has commenced, so stay tuned for a whole new batch of sexy. Shilo and I make a great team. It’s because we’re so honest with each other. I respect the Hell out of her. And ya know we’re both really nice. I love when I can just be kind and joyful with a collaborator. It’s the best type of productivity there is. So when we got to a place in the strategy session where it felt right to change topics, I brought up my thesis.

I have to make this project personal or else I’m not going to be able to make something worth the effort. Does that make sense? I’ve got this data and yes while there is a lot of sex and sexuality contained within it, what I want to write about is how people make family. 3 of the 5 people are parents, and the 2 that don’t have children are married. So I’m looking at the intersection of an alternative sexuality, race, class and family.

Which is what I need right now. It’s kind of a common (and snide) remark to say all graduate students in the social sciences and liberal arts are just studying themselves. That we’re working through our own issues via research projects. When I mentioned this to Shilo, she said that in art school, that is a given. It’s a default that whatever medium you’ve chosen to master is a means toward self expression. It’s all personal, because you know, you’re a person.


I’m not that comfortable thinking of myself as an artist. I’m just barely comfortable identifying myself as a writer. But here I am.

So the medium I have is stories. What I need to express is my hope that we all have the ability to embody an authentic sexuality while creating and sustaining healthy family formations resulting in an enduring resiliency to discrimination and social stigma. Sounds like a good thesis, no?

Yep, hang out in the kitchen with Shi for a few hours, have a few cups of spiked coffee and watch your whole world shift.

Cookin in the kitchen with Shilo