Aerial vs Areola

So this morning I’m in line at the coffee shop and when I shout my order to the guy behind the counter I give him my name. Then the guy next to me in line turns to me and says: “Nice.”

I give him a quizzical look, like nice what? He kinda reminds me of Moby. Skinny, bald white guy wearing a thin T-shirt and expensive thrashed jeans. He sort of stammers, “Your name, it’s nice.”

“Oh, uh, ya, thanks, I’ll tell my mom,” and turn my attention back to the counter, need to grab a yogurt. But the guy isn’t done. He makes a sort of twirling motion with his hands, “Aerial.. that’s the flip right? Or is your name Aerola? Is that the flip?”

I’m surprised my eyebrows didn’t start to do back flips, they lifted so high off my face, “Um, well, no, neither. Uh this…” and I sort of mirror the twirly hand motion, “is an Aerial Maneuver. And an areola is a body part…” I sort of tilt my head toward him so that he gets my meaning.

This is when the guy turned red. He was sort of pink to begin with, but I watched as a deep scarlet started at his neck and crept all the way to the tiptop of his shaved head. It was almost impressive.

“Oh wow, uh, am I blushing?”

“Yes, yes you are,” I am blatantly staring at the top of his head.

“Wow I uh, haven’t had my coffee yet.”

“Me neither,” it was fascinating; he was like a human thermometer. I just kept staring at the bright red skin at the top of his head.

“Well I hope you’re not named after… ya, I mean, there’s nothing wrong, er, they’re quite nice, I err…”

This is when I decided to stop staring and shift my attention back to waiting in line. I dismiss him with a, “it’s cool.”

It’s his turn to pay the cashier; the red had receded, so he was back to Moby pink. I assume our funny little exchange is over. But no, he’s determined, “So is your name short for anything?” and then he starts, to like, ponder what Airial could be short for.

“No, it’s just Airial.” Really? I am not about to tell him the actual origins, nor the correct spelling, of my name. It’s way too early for this shit.

“So you are named after a flip?”

Oh. My. God. I say very calmly and slowly, “Dude, you just asked me if I was named after nipples, I don’t think your gonna come back from that.”

And bing! Up went the red again.  Then I watched the little red dot of his head make his way out of the crowded coffee shop. I give my money to the woman at the cash register, “Coffee, I need coffee.”

Aerial vs Areola
  • http://www.chasingmetamorphosis.blogspot.com Barbara

    LMAO! The things that could take place under the rooftops of coffee houses and fast food joints will blow your mind… or, err, make the top of your head turn red. I had a similar in-line exchange before, except I was far into my pregnancy, and the dude involved swore up and down that he and I went to prom together. Heavy sigh… followed by heavy laughter…